iPod Touch

So, I wanted to try out a device with mobile media and connectivity. I have a cell phone, so didn’t need another one of those. But I wanted to test out multimedia consumption in public space—music, video, and other functions—and if possible something with a WiFi connection. The iPod Touch seemed the trick. I keep wanting to call it the iTouch for some reason.

Now, a few years ago I had a Palm Zire which I used for about a year. I loaded some pictures on it (it had a built in camera, too). But primarily I used it as a mini laptop to take notes on. With a nifty mini folding keyboard that could attach to it, I could create and edit Word, Excel, and PowerPoint documents. I used it to take notes at conferences, mainly. The problem was…well, one of the problems was that the power button was really awkward and easily depressed so the thing would accidentally get turned on without me knowing and the battery would drain. And if the battery went, anything not backed up went and you had to re-set the entire device. The other problem was that when I wasn’t traveling, I didn’t have much use for it. I found handwritten notes more comfortable and dynamic. Eventually it sat on my desk in my office until the battery drained and I never reset it.

6 May, 2009
I head into the Apple store at the Arizona Biltmore Shopping mall. It’s a well-lit place, and quite crowded, though half the people in there seem to be employees. I’m greeted at the front of the store, I state my business (“I want to buy an iTouch”) and am free to wander for about 10 seconds until one of my greeters is assigned to me as a personal shopper and off we go to the iPod touch table. Since I’m not a heavy duty user of such devices currently, and don’t forsee becoming so, I’m not looking for a huge amount of memory and opt for the 8 gig model (I’m reminded at these times that I once owned a PC with an amazing 40 megs of memory, and had lots of room to spare on it). Not too pricey as these things go, though the peripherals are shockingly expensive (a hard case to protect it costs about 10% of the price of the device itself; then there’s antiglare film, etc. I finally hand over my credit card and am delivered a few minutes later a quite small clear plastic box (about 2 inches by 4 inches).

I start exploring this little box later that afternoon during my childrens’ gymnastics class. I manage to open the box, but cannot figure out how to free the iPod itself from its holder. This is somewhat humbling. Eventually I discover the clear tape holding it in place.

Meanwhile, since I cannot fiddle with the device itself, I manage to look over the product information guide, printed in what appears to be 2-point font. Squinting, I look over the basic guidelines. These boil down to two central commandments:
· Don’t be stupid with this device (drop, open, crush, bend, shred, paint, etc.)
· Don’t get it wet (no iPodding in the rain), and if it gets wet, don’t stick it in the microwave to dry it (really!)

There are a couple of more commandments, too:
· Don’t drive and listen on a headset (I knew this one already, though many people I pass on the road these days obviously don’t, or are ignoring the law)
· Don’t study the map feature while driving

I then turn to the section on warnings and find myself so frightened by the end that I wonder that they let this thing on the market. Potential hazards of using this device include:
· Hearing damage (“turn the volume down if you can’t hear people speaking near you”—but isn’t the point of an iPod to ignore the people speaking near you?)
· A few people may be susceptible to blackouts or seizures (“even if they have never had one before”). If you start twitching, convulsing, or have a “loss of awareness” see a doctor.
· The glass screen may shatter and cut you
· Repetitive motion strain
· Don’t set the iPod on the airbag in your car since the airbag could open with great force and….
· Watch out for the RF energy of the device, especially if you have a pacemaker, and it may interfere with other electronic systems (like in vehicles).

That’s the gist, at any rate. The entire document (or a version of them) is here.

It's sort of like listing all the possible side effects of a medication, no matter how rare. The chances of any of this happening are extremely slim, but reading through them all at one sitting makes me consider the device askance.